This past week, through social media , I noticed several posts pertaining to our local school schedule for the upcoming year. The posts, although seemingly innocent, pushed more than a couple of my parental buttons the wrong way as well as rubbing against my fraternal grain. What was contained within the posts, comments and replies, to me, was nothing more than selfish parents griping about how the upcoming schedule was going to affect them in a negative way. Complaining about the inconvenience of modified days (we used to call them early dismissals) used during the first week or so to help ease kindergarteners into a full day schedule and a weekly early day (by 45 minutes...2:30 instead of 3:15) used by the teachers for meetings, being moved to another weekday. These two issues are apparently reeking utter havoc with these particular parents all important, unrelenting, iron clad work schedules and they have absolutely no idea how to deal with it besides bellyaching online and wasting our school administrators time by asking them to change the schedule, just for them (which they can't) while recruiting other malcontents by starting petitions on the internet. And here I thought their time was so valuable and scarce. They apparently have plenty of time to start petitions and troll the web for support.
For those of my fellow Observers who know me personally or you are one of the few who have actually read some of my articles...I, as you already know, have a couple of suggestions that may help ease these parents into a new school year. First, lets crack open a dictionary, shall we? Webster's..... if that's Ok with every one... defines:
School - noun\'skool\
1: An organization that provides instruction as
A: An institution for the teaching of children
B: A college or university
C: An establishment offering specialized instruction
2: A: The process of teaching or learning
B: A school building
Did anyone see daycare in the definition? I know I didn't. I bring that point up because if your using a school schedule as a repository for all or some of the problems your having with your work schedule, your placing blame where it does not belong. We pay taxes to provide schools for our children's education not to provide daycare for our children to further our careers. I believe that the care and education of our children should be put first and if you have children, it's due time for you to realize that your life is not your own anymore. Your personal wants have to be second to their needs. If there is one thing I've learned all to well in my 50 years is that there is no two way street in life.... no having your cake and eating it too. Unless your insanely rich, you have to make decisions that affect your life and how you live it. Children are at the top of that list and their impact is usually life altering for most. For those that don't have children yet, certain concessions will have to be made when planning to have children enter your lives, whether you like it or not. For example, if you are highly focused on having a career, you may not want to have children. Hand in hand, if you want children and a career, you better look towards an occupation that is child friendly and flexible. For those that already have children and both parents have to work, it is not that difficult to work around each others schedules so that there is at least one parent at home to take care of the child or children. One or both of you may not be able to pursue the job you want, you may not see each other as much as you would like, but again, you have children and sacrifice is part of providing for them. I will concede that there are certain circumstances that apply to single parents that make it more difficult, but school schedules are not the source of all their problems either. However, I give their arguments about it more merit than a two parent household.
Another complaint I've heard is the financial problems created for the parents by the new schedule. That it costs them money by missing work or additional daycare costs to accommodate it. I have no sympathy for these people on this issue as well. We, as adults, create our own financial situations. Expensive houses, two car payments, extra insurance and taxes for both, smart phones with outrageous carrier plans, credit cards with high finance charges are all examples of the status quo, cud chewing, cash cow bed we make for ourselves and then whine like toddlers when we have to lie in it. What ever happened to living within your own means? It's especially more poignant when you have kids that you do. How are you possibly providing for them when you put yourself in so much debt that the dividend on your investments is your child calling their daycare provider Mommy? Let's take a look at some of the things that modern parents feel they deserve.
1.) An expensive home with a large mortgage payment, insurance and taxes.
Why not rent for now? It's a lot cheaper. My parents didn't own their own home until after all three of their children were grown and they ended up buying out of state where their money went a lot further. We still rent.
2.) Brand new cars with triple the insurance costs, taxes and finance charges.
What's wrong with buying a used car with your down payment outright? My parents had one new car in 1973. It was a Volkswagen and cost $1700.00. We never have had a new car.
3.) Five hundred dollar smart phones with plans that cost hundreds per month.
Do you really need it? Don't you have a desk top or lap top? My parents never even had a beeper. Haven't you ever heard of pre-paid? My phone cost $50.00 and costs me less than $15.00 per month to use and it works just fine.
4.) Credit cards..... simple... if you don't have the cash in you pocket to buy something.... you can't afford it!
My parents never had any of these things, besides a couple of credit cards that they used for emergencies, and I think I turned out just fine. At least I knew who both of them were when they walked through the door. I must admit that all these things would defiantly be nice to have, but the money spent on them is the main reason why people get so bat crazy upset when a school decides to close early every once in a while or calls a snow day. I understand that they can create financial hardships, but they are hardships of our own making.
For some parents children are a hindrance to their social life. I remember reading somewhere the analogy that children are like a diaper on an anchor. I found it amusing. Unfortunately, some parents actually feel this way. This type of attitude that some parents foster is so aggravating to me, I'm not going to waste a lot of my time (let alone yours, my loyal reader) on it. To these parental pariahs, I only have this to say. If as a parent you feel that your children are cramping your social life style to the point that you genuinely resent them for you not being able to go to clubs with your friends or having to buy formula instead of beer, your a lost cause as a parent. You should seriously consider asking a family member to raise them. As harsh as that may sound, it's better than foster care and your kids will probably thank you for doing it one day. Two things to sum this subject up.... the truth is never pretty and some people should never have kids.... period.
What gets under my family dynamic skin the most is the fact that a lot of parents feel that they are entitled to the luxuries of certain material items and being able to go out whenever they want in order to keep up with their social status Joneses. Let me clue in all of you Rockefeller, Kardashian wannabes.... your not.... your parents. It appears to me that some parents have no problem telling their children that they can't have something. Preaching to them that you can't always get what you want and life is not fair, but those philosophies don't seem to apply to them. Especially when they have a gold card in their wallet. The fact is no matter what reasons parents use in order to complain about how school scheduling affects their lives it usually, as with most things, comes down to money. "I can't leave work", "We can't afford the extra daycare", "I have a career to think about", all legitimate reasons in the mind of a parent who believes that they are putting their child first by providing them with possessions and justifying their anger by placing blame on others for complicating their situation with something like an early dismissal. The truth, however, is not as complicated as they think and it starts with our perspective of needs.
A home does not need to be owned.
A car does not need to be new.
A phone does not need to be smart.
But, a child needs to be loved, heard and be put above your wants.
Strictly an Observation. If you'll excuse me, I have to get my daughter off the bus.
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